Jennifer Lopez

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Whoa! What’s happening here? Bill Murray‘s wife of over ten years has filed for divorce — and she’s requested a restraining order against him.

According to Jennifer Murray, Bill has a doozy of addictions, including alcohol, marijuana and sex – and she’s had enough. And, she says, these were the reasons she took their kids and left him in 2006. The court documents also add that Bill once “hit his wife in the face and then told her she was ‘lucky he didn’t kill her,’” according to a report in the Charleston Post and Courier.

My aunt once saw Bill at Peter Luger’s in NY and he gave a woman who was choking the Heimlich maneuver. Maybe his defense attorney should call her.

Amy Winehouse may be an alleged crackhead — but, hey, at least she keeps a clean house.

I tried to pull off that bandanna-in-the-hair thing once and my husband told me I looked like either Aunt Jemima or a pirate. I can kind of see where he’s coming from now.

No, Barbie didn’t throw up all over NYC — that sea of pink is just the promotional gig for MTV”s new reality show, Legally Blonde The Musical: The Search For Elle Woods.

Yup, all of these Pepto-Bismol pink ladies are vying for the lead role in the Broadway production, based on the Reese Witherspoon flick. And they’ll be all over New York today. Fifty of them. All dressed the same. On a double decker bus. That’s pink.

If you’re in Midtown, keep an eye out for this event. Not that you’d be able to miss it if you tried.

The show premieres on MTV on June 2, in The Hills’ old time slot. Come to think of it, is that Heidi on the left?

I know, I know. Why won’t they just go away?

Heidi Montag is, once again, on the cover of the new Us Weekly (seriously, what does she have on Editor-in-Chief Janice Min?) and, this time, she’s saying that she’s “Ready to Say ‘I Do’” to the terrible Spencer Pratt. There’s no doubt that these two deserve each other, or as Heidi likes to spin it, they are “soulmates.”

Anyway, the reason why I’m even bringing this to your attention is because of how hysterically funny the story is behind The Hills stars’ re-engagement. Supposedly the couple went away together on a “secret” trip to Mexico, where Spencer was able to convince Heidi to marry him, after they read from the Bible together!

“Heidi read me biblical passages like ‘Honor thy wife,’” Spencer told the mag.

Are you sure, Spence? Are you positive she didn’t have a copy of Cosmopolitan pasted inside the cover of the Bible? And I wonder how many photographers were invited on this religious retreat. I just can’t deal with these two.

American Idol‘s latest winner, David Cook, is a good man.

Anyone who watched Idol this season knows that David’s brother Adam has been fighting brain cancer. The Idol star dedicated all of his performances to his big bro, proudly displaying his initials on his clothing and guitars during the show. Then, we told you last week about the sad news that Idol contestant Luke Menard had been diagnosed with Stage Two Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and that David took the time out to visit his bud in the hospital, even though he was preparing for the biggest show of the season.

“I love Luke and I just wanted to show up and make sure that he understood that I love him and know that if there’s anything I can do for him and his wife, sign me up, you know?” David told People.com. “Luke, Michael Johns, Jason Yeager and myself, we kind of buddy-ed up one day at Hollywood week,” he explained of their bond. “We called ourselves the four horsemen. Any time one of your own is going through something as horrible as that, it makes everything else seem a little bit insignificant.

David vows to use his new found fame to hopefully make a difference — and that’s just another reason to love this star-in-the-making.

“Cancer is a very big part of my existence,” he said “I’m excited to be put in [the spotlight] where I can hopefully do something to help other people.”

The man’s got it all — a good face, a good voice and, most importantly, a good heart. Could you ask for anything more?

Gary Dourdan lucked out. The dude was caught by police in April, sleeping (aka past out) in his car on the wrong side of a random street, reportedly surrounded by drugs, and he’s not going to jail — not even for 82 minutes.

The CSI star pleaded guilty yesterday to counts of cocaine and Ecstasy possession. The heroin(!) charge was dropped.

“As a result of today’s proceedings, Gary has been given diversion (a drug treatment program),” his lawyer said, outside the court. “He very much regrets what happened and he’s very embarrassed by what occurred, but he’s looking forward to moving on and getting back to work.”

Gary could have gotten three years and eight months int he slammer based on the charges filed against him. Instead, he’ll serve nada and will only have to complete a 16-class drug program. Obviously, Gary is thrilled.

“He is very grateful to the court for being understanding and giving him an opportunity to resolve the issue and move forward,” his lawyer said. 

That’s one good lawyer.